


Old Habits

by StarryNox



Series: FEmslash 2019 [1]
Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: F/F, MU is named Rajya, like...really vague, prompt: armor, vague references to trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-10-20 16:15:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17625605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarryNox/pseuds/StarryNox
Summary: Rajya and Panne spend the night together. It doesn't go smoothly.





	Old Habits

“ _So show me where my armor ends / Show me where my skin begins._ ” – Sleeping at Last

 

It is their first night spent together, and neither of them know what to do. Rajya paces in a failed attempt to settle her nerves. Panne sits tentatively upon the edge of their bed, but they both know she is poised to _run_ , to leap to her feet and escape their tent at a moment’s notice. Rajya wants to laugh at the irony.

The world had hardened them until they forgot how to be soft. She wears a simple nightgown, bought in a market on a whim, while Panne has shed her armor in favor of a soft shirt. Rajya’s battle robes are folded neatly in a pile. Panne’s armor has been tossed to the side—a pile of plate and gauntlets in a corner of their tent. And yet, they may as well be wearing them still.

“I…am accustomed to sleeping alone,” Panne says at last, a frown marring her features. “As a warren, we would sleep in a pile. But it has been a long time since I have had any to call my own.” Rajya's heart constricts with sympathy, not for the first time and undoubtedly not for the last. A family torn apart at the seams is something she is well acquainted with.

“My sister and I...we used to share a bed.” Still do, on occasion, when the nightmares become too much, but they are trying to go beyond that. “But it's been a long time, since I've shared a bed like this.” With a lover, she means. If such knowledge bothers Panne, the Taguel does not show it.

“Then perhaps you ought to lead,” she says instead, lips curling into a smile. Rajya chuckles despite herself and nods, returning to her bed and slipping under the blankets.

“Come join me, my love.” And Panne does, pausing only to blow out the lantern sitting upon her bedside table. Rajya hears the rustle of fabric before feeling the bed dip down, warm heat settling beside her. “May I hold you?”

“Of course.” Even so, Panne stiffens as Rajya wraps her arms around her lover. Rajya takes no offense--it isn’t the first time that such a thing has happened, and it will not be the last. Old habits born of survival are difficult to break, as she knows all too well. But Panne eventually relaxes into her touch, and she smiles.

“One day,” she vows, “we will be able to reach for each other without flinching.” Even now, there is progress. This is progress. They are healing, slowly but surely. They are learning to be soft, to shed the armor that lives and breathes within them, to be vulnerable. Even if it is only for each other, it is a relief to set aside the burden on their souls, if only for a moment. And one day, perhaps, they will shed their internal armor as easily as they do their physical--Rajya prays for that day’ for both of their sakes.

“Yes...we will,” Panne says, and Rajya does not need the light to know there is a smile upon her features. “I look forward to it.”

But for now, she is warm. Panne's breathing is even, and Rajya feels herself rise and fall with the steady rhythm of it. Feels it soothe her to sleep, like a lullaby.

And it is enough, for now.

**Author's Note:**

> Rajya belongs to my dear friend [Cass](https://archiveofourown.org/users/duelbraid).


End file.
